Father Alberto Cutie: Missing, Gone or Disappeared by the Church: Where Are These Priests?

With compulsory celibacy for the Catholic Church back in the news, it is pertinent to consider once again the example of Father Alberto Cutie, who responding to a public outcry when he was seen on a public beach with a woman - and on terms that were obviously more intimate than simply pastoral - by quitting the Catholic Church and joining the Episcopal Church instead, where he now continues to minister.

His case is obviously not unique: the Catholic Church has quite needlessly lost any number of good and valued priests who have found themselves forced by Vatican rules to make an artificial and entirely unnecessary, unscriptural choice between their vocation to ministry, and their human desire to live in a close relationship with a loving partner (male or female). In this piece at the Huffington Post, Fr Cutie asks the very important question: where are all these priests, "missing, gone or disappeared by the Church?"

One of the issues I address in my personal memoir, "Dilemma: A Priest's Struggle with Faith and Love," which has caused a significant degree of controversy among certain Roman Catholic circles, is the way the institutional church deals with priests. I highlight especially those moments of personal crisis when priests need the most support, from everyone in the spiritual family they grew up in and gave their lives to, and often find everything but support.

Recently, I read "The Unexpected Life," a book by Monsignor Dale Fushek of the Diocese of Phoenix. The charismatic founder of Life Teen and organizer of Pope John Paul's 1987 U.S. visit describes his work with youth, shares his stories of the priesthood, his attraction to figures like Pope John Paul II and Mother Teresa (an admiration we share) and provides a unique perspective when he refers to his work as Vicar General (a bishop's right hand) and pastor of one of the most prominent parishes in his local church. He served Bishop O'Brien of Phoenix, who also was ousted after a hit and run incident where a man died after being accidentally run-over by the bishop. I found it interesting that Father Dale avoided telling many of the "difficult" and "painful" stories in his life and in the lives of his brother priests, yet anyone who has been involved in the Roman Catholic Church, at any level, can certainly read between the lines.

-read the full article at  Huffington Post.

Celibacy and a Wounded Church: Readers' Observations

A few weeks ago, I was sent me this anecdote by email:

A friend of Armin's was recently in Austria to bury her mother.  Her aunts referred to the priest's "frau"; Sandra thought that was a bit odd because Catholic priests don't marry, right, but since she isn't a churchgoer she figured maybe she was just out of touch. So she invited the priest "and your wife" to dinner. He blanched... she repeated the invitation... he accepted. And brought her along.

Apparently this woman was originally the housekeeper, but has become his mistress. The whole parish knows. It's all widely accepted and understood, although this was the first time she had been invited along like that. (But from the sounds of it, it won't be the last.)  Another instance, I think, of actual Catholic communities being far more progressive (and human) than the Vatican.

I was interested, but not surprised by this. We know that all around the world, the rule on compulsory celibacy is widely ignored, often openly. In both Austria and Germany there are formal, organized support groups for priests with mistresses. In Italy, a group of mistresses have petitioned the pope to end the celibacy rule so that they could (in effect) come out of the closet.  In Africa, one Bishop was removed from office when knowledge that many priests in his diocese were living openly with their wives and families became embarrassingly commonplace, and another was excommunicated (long after) he followed up his own marriage by actively promoting marriage for Catholic priests. Universal celibacy of Catholic priests is a myth. Any pretence otherwise is sheer hypocrisy.

Priests and Prostitutes

No, not a theme for a fancy dress party, but a real- life problem.

Mike Jones is a (former) male prostitute with first-hand personal knowledge. He was the man some years ago who outed one of his clients as Ted Haggard, then a popular and successful bible-punching preacher well-known for his regular attacks on the homos "sinful" lifestyle - but who furnished his church with homeorotic statues and populated his stage with hunky male assistants:

When I attended Haggard's New Life Church after the scandal broke, I was amazed to see all the explicitly homoerotic statues and paintings—sculptures of nude, muscular men all over the place. I also noticed that all the people on stage where Ted would preach were young men—not a female in sight. I was later told that Ted picked out all the art work and the final decision as to who was on stage lay with him.

After J0nes read reports of Father Kevin J. Gray. the Connecticut priest who is facing trial over allegations that he had stolen $1,3 million from his parish to pay for high living and hustlers in New York, he wrote at the Daily Beast that based on his extensive experience, a sizeable proportion of men hiring prostitutes are clergy. Thinking about it, this doesn't really surprise me. We know that priests after all are no more than human, and that a significant proportion of priests are not totally celibate. Some few are lucky enough to negotiate proper, stable relationships - but what, exactly are the options for a priest who is closeted? Some discreet toe tapping in a toilet cubicle, and run the risk of being rumbled, like Larry Craig? Late night cruising in the park?

No, there are sound reasons for thinking that some priests may see the safest option for some safe sex is just to buy it. There is, however, one major problem. Sex for sale is outside the pay scale for Catholic Priests. (Unlike some other preachers, such as Alan Rekers) . Mike Jones describes one solution.

But more than once I was paid for my services with a handful of crinkled ones and fives. I would think to myself, how could they take from their own church’s collection plate? The answer is simple and sad: addicts will do whatever they need to do to support their habit.

I have written before of the many ways in which the insistence on compulsory celibacy is damaging to our priests - and to their partners, where they are lucky enough to have them. What I hadn't considered, was that it might even lead some to steal from the church.